


The Time is Now for Me and You

by grimouis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Emotions, Explicit Sexual Content, Liam Payne Being a Soft Boi, M/M, Porn With Plot, breaking up, loads of those
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:49:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21624040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimouis/pseuds/grimouis
Summary: Louis inhales shakily and then buries his face into the crook of Liam’s neck and cries. Liam just holds him close, keeping his hand moving lightly along Louis’ spine to let him know that he’s here and that he will be alright, despite Liam not knowing what’s going on.It doesn’t take longer than a few minutes of crying before Louis extracts himself from Liam’s embrace, seemingly having collected himself enough to not break down again.“Do you wanna tell me what all this is about?” Liam asks gently, keeping a gentle hand on Louis’ arm.“We broke up.”or; Liam is a weenie and Louis is a mess.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 20
Kudos: 141
Collections: Bottom Louis Fic Fest 2019





	The Time is Now for Me and You

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt 186: Louis and Harry have broken up after 5 years and Louis spends the night with Liam, his best friend.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy reading this because I sure as heck didn’t enjoy writing it! (kidding, I’m just not very good with deadlines fjdjfh)
> 
> Title from Sam Fenders song All Is On My Side
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own One Direction or anyone/anything affiliated with them

It’s been raining for ages when the doorbell rings.

Liam can’t say he’s surprised as he opens his door to Louis at his doorstep, soaking wet, clutching an overnight bag and a dripping pillow in his arms. His eyes are red and swollen, most likely from crying. It’s not the first time this has happened in the last few months; Louis showing up unannounced and upset at his doorstep. Liam always welcomes him with open arms though, because how could he not?

“Oh Louis,” is Liam’s first instinct to say, before his mind catches up to him, reminding him that he should probably do something. “Come on, get inside. You’re absolutely drenched.”

Liam steps to the side, keeping his grip on the door tight to prevent it from falling shut while Louis enters the flat. Louis kicks off his wet sneakers and turns around to face Liam.

“I’m so so sorry to just show up here unannounced _again_ , Li. It’s just-“ is all he manages to say before he chokes up, effectively cutting himself off. Liam’s on him immediately, taking his bag and pillow and placing them on the floor before wrapping his arms around a still soaking Louis, embracing him.

“I’m sorry.” Louis hiccups.” I didn’t mean to start crying again.”

“Hey, shh.” Liam shushes him, rubbing a soothing hand up and down his back before pulling him closer. “It’s alright, you’re alright.”

Louis inhales shakily and then buries his face into the crook of Liam’s neck and cries. Liam just holds him close, keeping his hand moving lightly along Louis’ spine to let him know that he’s here to comfort him and that he will be alright, despite Liam not knowing what’s going on. He’s got a bit of a suspicion though, that it’s the same reason as the one he’s come crying about every time for the last few months.

It doesn’t take longer than a few minutes of crying before Louis extracts himself from Liam’s embrace, seemingly having collected himself enough to talk, without breaking down again.

“Do you want to tell me what all this is about?” Liam asks carefully, keeping a gentle hand on Louis’ arm.

“We broke up.” Is all Louis says and well. Just as Liam suspected. If he was any more of an actor, he’d have pretended to be surprised.

The thing is just that Louis and Harry have broken up or had a big argument approximately 30 times within just the last couple of months, and each time Louis has shown up at Liam’s flat, he has been furious out of his mind, wanting to do nothing else but talk about what a shithead Harry is, or he’s been absolutely destroyed, crying until he hyperventilates or falls asleep. At this point, it’s something Liam’s come to expect, Louis showing up unannounced and upset about Harry, some way or another.

He can’t help but feel like this time is different though. Louis seems calmer, but sadder somehow; normally he’d still have been absolutely bawling, instead of the quiet collected crying before, and the fact that he’s not is enough to make Liam’s alarm bells ring.

So he asks; “what happened?” voice laced with concern, but absolutely no surprise.

Louis doesn’t answer, just sniffles and Liam can tell because this has happened so many times, that he’s about to cry again. So he wraps his other hand around Louis’ arm, gently squeezes his bicep to show him comfort.

“Hey hey, Louis. You don’t have to tell me anything, alright? All in due time.” He tells him. Louis looks up at him then, his blue eyes glassy and swollen, and it makes Liam so desperately want to take care of him. “Have you had any dinner yet?”

“Uh, no-“ Louis tries to reply, but his voice cracks halfway through the word. Liam feels a little smile tug at the corners of his mouth, the tension of the room lifting a bit.

“Alright. How about you go wash up a bit and put on some dry clothes. I’m sure you’ll feel better, and then I’ll throw some dinner together for us, yeah?” Liam suggests. “Then if you feel up for it, you can tell me what happened. If not, we’ll just watch a movie or something, how does that sound?”

“But it’s almost 9pm. I’m sure you’ve already eaten and-“ Louis protests.

“ _Louis_ ,” Liam says, cutting him off. “It’s fine. I had an early dinner, I could go for some pasta or something. Let me take care take of you for a bit.”

Louis looks to have some sort of internal battle for a few seconds before he smiles gently. 

“You really don’t have to do all this for me, Li.”

“Yeah, well.” Liam shrugs, not really sure what to respond with besides the truth. So he does just that, says: “I want to,” and doesn’t care whether or not it might be a bit too much.

-

Louis returns from the bathroom after only a few minutes, now dressed in cosy-looking joggers and a hoodie. His eyes are still red, swollen but less so than before and the way his bangs are damp and sticky-uppy, like he got them wet when he was washing his face, makes him look sleepy and cuddly and- well. It’s a good look on him, Liam thinks. The thought of how, in some alternative universe, this is what Louis would look like, emerging from their shared bedroom on a lazy Sunday morning, looking all soft and smiley, to see Liam in the kitchen preparing him breakfast, makes Liam’s hand clammy. He tries to ignore the way it makes his heart jackrabbit in his chest. 

It’s nothing, really. Just a bit of a crush, something that’ll soon go away. Just a silly, silly little crush. 

Or so Liam tells himself and has told himself for the last 7 years. It’s not like he ever plans to act on his feelings. Louis is his best friend and just the thought of losing him, even if he got to have him the way he so desperately wishes to, makes his whole body ache. He’s happy just to have Louis the way he does.

Louis looks at him curiously for a moment, before Liam realises he was spoken to.

“Sorry?” Liam asks, prompting Louis to repeat what he’d said.

“What are you making?” He asks, nodding towards the box of pasta Liam had put out onto the counter.

“Uh,” Liam says, looking down on the pasta, trying to remember what he’d indented to do with it. “Um, sorry. I’m a bit tired. I was just going to cook some pasta and I have some ready-made tomato sauce in the fridge. I hope that’s okay?”

For some reason this makes Louis upset, his eyebrows scrunching together and the corners of his mouth turning down.

“Uh, I can cook something else if you want?” Liam asks, bewildered, not understanding what he’s done wrong. Louis usually loves pasta and tomato sauce.

“You’re tired?” Louis asks, his voice is shaky like he’s going to cry again and that’s. Well, that’s not what Liam wanted _at all_. “I can go to Lottie’s or something, I really don’t want to bother you-“

“Louis, hey.” Liam moves to him, gathers him up in a hug again, because he can’t just not comfort Louis when he’s so obviously distressed. “It’s alright. You’re not bothering me, not at all. You’re always more than welcome here, alright? It’s just been a long week at work. You being here has actually helped me keep my mind off of everything.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, definitely. Come,” Liam says, placing his hand on Louis’ back to guide him towards the dining table. “Sit, and I’ll finish dinner. Can I offer you something to drink?”

“What do have to offer?” Louis asks as he sits down at the table, facing Liam.

“I have water,” Liam starts, opening the fridge to check out what he actually does have to offer Louis. “And I have some Diet Coke?”

Louis makes a disgusted face instead of replying when Liam looks at him to check when he didn’t say anything.

“Should’ve seen that coming.” Liam laughs to himself. “Would you like a beer?”

“You know me so well,” Louis agrees, smiling, seemingly having forgotten how upset he was a moment before.

Liam opens the beer and brings it to the table to give it to Louis. Louis accepts it, taking a sip as Liam turns towards the stove. The back of his neck is burning, aware of Louis’ eyes on him. They don’t speak much in the time it takes Liam to cook the food. Not that it takes long, barely 15 minutes to cook the pasta and heat up the sauce.

Liam gets himself a beer, carries the food to the table when it’s finished, together with cutlery and dishes, and sits down across from Louis. 

“So how’s your new job treating you?” Louis asks, spooning pasta onto his plate. He drops a couple on the table in the process, messy as he is. Liam doesn’t bring attention to it.

“It’s good, yeah. I’m really liking it so far,” Liam replies. It had been a rough few months before he’d been hired, his old boss having unexpectedly given him a two weeks notice, because of company savings and reduction. He’s only been employed at the new place for a couple of weeks, but for a boring old office job, Liam likes it.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Louis smiles at him, having been there for him throughout him dealing with being suddenly jobless and the hunt for a new job. Louis lifts his beer. “Cheers to that then, I guess.”

Liam agrees with the statement, lifts his own beer and clinks the bottles together before taking a sip. 

Liam isn’t really sure if Louis is ready to talk about it, but his mind keeps reeling back to the conversation they had earlier and he can’t help but why wonder why they’ve broken up this time. Every time it’s happened so far, he can’t help but feel an overwhelming amount of sick satisfaction at having his theories about Harry confirmed. It makes him feel kind of bad because Harry’s been great every time they’ve met, funny and charming and welcoming like nothing else, but from what Louis’ told him, it all appears to be nothing but a facade. If it’s not suspicion of cheating, it’s forgotten anniversaries or birthdays or him just not appreciating Louis the way he wants, needs really, to be appreciated. Liam’s always thought he’d be great at that, paying attention to and appreciating Louis the way he wants. He does know him better than anyone else, having been friends with him since they were children, after all.

So he takes a bite, chews it slowly as he gathers his courage to ask; “do you want to talk about it yet?”

Louis looks up from the table in surprise, fork halfway to his mouth, like he’d forgotten why he was even there for a moment. “Uh.”

“You don’t have to!” Liam exclaims, worried he’s crossed a line he wasn’t aware of. “Only if you’re ready, take your time.”

Louis smiles at him gently, as he finishes his bite of food and sinks his fork back onto the plate. “No, it’s alright. I do kind of feel as if I owe you an explanation for showing up here unannounced.”

“You really don’t have to Lou,” Liam reassures him for what feels like the 20th time already.

“It’s fine,” Louis says, taking a sip of his beer and shuffling a bit in his seat like he’s uncomfortable and trying to hide it. “You know how it’s our anniversary tonight?”

And ah. Right. Liam did, in fact, know that, so he nods, instead of replying, not sure how his voice would hold up. The fact that Louis is here on their anniversary is a big deal. He’s always valued anniversaries a lot, for some reason. Liam knows for a fact that he’s written down most of the ones he finds important in his phone calendar; the day he and Harry went on their first date, the day they got together, the day they moved in together. Even the ones not related to his relationship with Harry. Like the day he finished sixth form, got his first car, the day Lottie got her driver’s license. Liam’s pretty sure there’s even some related to him in there. He likes the idea of Louis loving to hold on to positive memories like that. He can’t help but find it really endearing.

“Okay well,” Louis continues. “You obviously know all about how we haven’t really been, well. At a very great place recently, me and Harry.” Liam nods again. “Well, I wanted to like- to give it a bit of a last go you know? To see if we really still had that spark that’s made this whole mess worth it so far. Anyway, so I went out and got his favourite flowers and made him dinner and all that to surprise him on our anniversary, proper romantic. And uh, and so I waited. Mind this was only at half six, but he’s usually home at five the latest, so I waited and when he didn’t show at six I messaged him asking where he was, because well. The food was going cold, obviously, and he often tells me beforehand when he’s not coming home, and he hadn’t said a word about it this morning. Either way, he replied that he was just out.”

Louis looks down at his unfinished food then. He’s picking at the label of his bottle, Liam’s just now noticing. Small, white strips of paper littering the table around the bottle. Louis seems to notice that he’s noticed.

“Oh, uh sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” Liam reassures him, wanting to ask him to go on but not wanting to pressure him. So he stays quiet.

Louis inhales shakily like he’s trying to control himself. “Sorry, I really don’t mean to cry again. Um, I’ll continue. So he replied that he was out, and I got proper angry, called him up to cuss him out, because obviously, it’s our anniversary and he hadn’t even been bothered to tell me wasn’t planning on coming home for dinner. That apparently pissed him off, and he told me that he was sick to death of stupid anniversaries and that I should stop controlling his life like that, which is _such_ bullshit. I’m not his mum, he doesn’t need to ask me permission to go out, but as his boyfriend, who he lives with, I feel like I at least deserve to know whether he’s going to come home for dinner or not.” Louis is getting heated up now, obviously still pissed off. He’s clutching the bottle tightly in his right hand, and Liam’s almost afraid it’s gonna bust and cut up his palm.

“He told me was gonna come home then because he wasn’t going to have that conversation over the phone and then he hung up. He probably wasn’t very far away, because he was home within like 10 minutes and um. We basically had a massive row where we ended up deciding that calling it quits for good was probably the best idea at this point. We probably would’ve ended up killing each other if we hadn’t.” Louis let’s out a little laugh at that. Liam’s not really sure what was funny about it, but he sends Louis an encouraging smile anyway. “After that, I basically packed a bag and came here immediately. I’m not sure what he’s done with the dinner or if he’s even still at the flat, to be honest.”

The same satisfaction as before curls in Liam’s belly at the thought of Louis coming to him immediately. He was Louis’ first choice for comfort.

“I’m so sorry to hear that Lou,” Liam says. He’s not really sure what else to say. Liam’s never claimed to be good with words, and the moment he’s put into any even remotely awkward situation, his vocabulary always decides to flake on him.

Louis smiles in thanks before shifting on his seat. He’s arranged the small pieces of bottle label into a neat little pile. “It’s alright, honestly. I uh, I know I was really upset when I just got here, and I definitely don’t claim to be completely over it yet, but I think it’s for the best.”

“Oh?” Liam looks at him, surprised. He’d been under the impression that Louis was absolutely torn up about it.

“Yeah, I uh. I think I’m mostly sad about the ruined potential if that makes sense? Like, me and Harry, we’ve always had this insanely intense chemistry, and I know you probably don’t want to hear too much about this, but the intimate part of our relationship has always been incredible. So intense and passionate, and I think I’m mostly sad about that not translating into all the other parts of our relationship, you know? Imagine if we’d been as great out of bed as we are in it.” 

Louis’ cheeks are heating up, turning a lovely shade of pink. He clears his throat.

“But if I’m being honest, I don’t actually think I’m that sad about losing Harry. Not in a ‘I think we’re getting together again’ way, but more of a ‘I think I’ve been over him for a while’ way,” Louis admits.

“Oh?” Liam feels a bit like a broken record at this point, completely lost for words. This is definitely news to him.

“Yeah, I know how it looks.” Louis rolls his eyes, but he’s got a smile tugging at his lips. “I come here, bawling my eyes out, completely torn up about having broken up with Harry and now, what? An hour later, I’m saying I’m over him. It sounds ridiculous to me too, but it’s just hard to explain in a way where it doesn’t.”

“Well,” Liam says, lifting his beer. “I’m happy for you then. Cheers to a new chapter of your life.”

Louis smiles brightly at that, reminding Liam of summer and sunshine. The butterflies in his are stomach going nuts. Louis lifts his beer too, tips it at Liam and says; “Cheers to new beginnings.”

~*~

Liam can’t sleep, and he’s positive that it’s got something to do with the boy currently occupying his living room.

It’s late. It was past midnight when they decided to go to sleep, separately, and Liam’s been tossing and turning ever since. He’d suggested that Louis take his bed, wanting to prioritise his comfort over his own, but Louis had insisted that he already felt like he was intruding enough as it was. It had been said with finality, and Liam hadn’t pressed the issue further.

So now he’s here, unable to sleep, while Louis is right on the other side of his bedroom door. He turns from his back, onto his right side and then the left, can’t find a comfortable position. Can’t help but to think about Louis in the living room. Liam had made up the sofa for him, made it as comfortable as possible because it’s what he feels Louis deserves, especially after the day he’s had. He can’t help but wonder if Louis is awake, if he’s thinking about Harry and everything that’s happened, or if he’s possibly thinking of Liam the way Liam’s thinking of him.

He pulls the duvet up over his face and is just about to get up to get some water, just to do something, when there’s a knock on the door. Liam sits up, turns on one of his bedside lights, so he can see, and before he can say anything, the door starts opening carefully. Louis’ head pokes in, his hair all mussed up, as if he’s been tossing and turning too. Their eyes lock.

“You’re awake,” he says, like he was expecting Liam to be sleep, and is surprised he isn’t.

“Yeah,” Liam replies. Louis’ eyes stray from Liams, down to his chest, before going back up again and Liam’s suddenly very aware of the fact that he’s not wearing a shirt. He pulls his duvet up over his pecs, covering his nipples.

“Oh.” Louis is quiet for a moment, just standing in the doorway, hand still on the doorknob.

“Can I sleep in here?” he asks suddenly. His cheeks are red and Liam’s suddenly unsure whether it’s because he’s embarrassed to ask or if it’s because of Liam’s state of undress. “It’s just that I don’t sleep very well alone, and even with everything with Harry, we always used to sleep in the same bed and I-,“

“Louis.” Liam stops him. His heart is hammering in his chest. Despite having been friends since they were kids, they’ve never actually shared a bed before. “It’s alright, you can sleep here.”

A smile lights up Louis’ face, and his cheeks are still flushed. Maybe they’ve been like this all night? It’s not often Louis gets embarrassed, and he usually doesn’t when asking for affection, will crawl into anyone and everyone’s lap or ask for a hug, without hesitation. But surely it’s not because of Liam, though? He knows he’s a fairly attractive bloke. He takes care of his looks, trims his beard and works out regularly, but Louis wouldn’t get flustered just because of Liam’s naked chest, would he?

Liam doesn’t get to think about it any longer before Louis is climbing onto the bed. Liam moves over, so he’s on the side instead of in the middle and lifts the duvet, inviting Louis under it. They settle in silently, getting comfortable on either sides of the bed.

Louis lays still for a moment, before he starts shuffling around, like he can’t really find a comfortable position. He’ll stop, lay still a second, then shuffle again. Liam is considering asking him what’s wrong when Louis starts talking.

“Um, would you mind cuddling me?” He asks, his quiet voice ringing loud in the silent room. Liam doesn’t know how to answer. “It’s just- um. It’s just because I’ve never been very good at sleeping alone and I uh. I just thought that maybe you would-“

“Yeah, yeah sure. I can do that,” Liam replies, his feelings for Louis not only making it impossible to deny him anything when he’s sad, but it also intensifies the discomfort he feels himself at Louis being uncomfortable. So he shuffles closer, unsure of how close is considered inappropriate. He lifts his arm but hesitates. He’s not sure if Louis wants it across his chest, or maybe his waist? Maybe he wants it somewhere in between.

He doesn’t get to dwell on it for too long, before Louis reaches up, grabs his wrist and pulls his arm down and around himself, tight enough that Liam needs to shuffle closer. Louis lightly intertwines their fingers, his palm against the back of Liam’s hand, where it’s resting on his sternum.

They lay in silence for a couple of minutes. Liam isn’t trying to sleep, not sure he could, even if he wanted to. Louis lays completely still though, breathing steadily, quietly, and Liam’s almost sure he’s fallen asleep when he squeezes Liam’s hand.

“Thank you for always taking such good care of me, Liam,” Louis whispers into the dark. His voice is sad.

The same kind of sick satisfaction he felt earlier returns though, whenever Louis tells him how kind and funny and just overall _good_ he is, because he knows Louis doesn’t feel that way about Harry. He also knows it’s not so much about him treating Louis well but more about how Harry hasn’t done exactly that. Because it’s always about Harry with Louis, and Liam has a hard time believing it’ll ever not be, despite Louis’ claim earlier.

“It’s no problem,” Liam replies, not sure what else to say, afraid he’s going to let too much slip. He can’t see Louis’ face, and that would just make it so much easier to let himself pour his heart out, let Louis know how he really feels about this whole mess. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Liam doesn’t really have any right to have an opinion on Louis’ relationship, especially considering, if not because of, his feelings. Of course, he wants them to break up for good. The thought of Louis being single sends the butterflies in his stomach into complete disarray. He would probably want them to break up, even if it wasn’t as messy as it is.

They lay in silence for a while, not saying a thing, but both of them definitely still awake.

Liam’s almost scared to breathe for a bit, scared he’ll disturb the peaceful bubble that’s formed around them. Louis moves, scoots back a bit, so he’s completely flush against Liam’s front, and as Liam lies there, Louis snug in his arms, he realises that Louis is properly single for the first time in 5 years. He’s probably not going to go back to Harry, if what he said earlier holds true, and then the fact he came to _Liam_ before anyone else. Louis came to him, for comfort and some sanity, because he trusts Liam and he trusts him to take good care of him.

It kind of feels like Louis choose him.

So Liam presses his lips against the back of Louis’ neck, can’t help himself, and kisses him gently, his heart in this throat and all his inhibitions left behind in the daylight. He mumbles; “what’re you thinking about?” because he knows Louis, and he knows that it means he’s lost in thought when he gets silent like this.

“How I wish he’d treat me the way you do,” is what Louis replies, his voice sad, and oh.

“Yeah?” Liam’s not sure what to say. He not surprised, not really, could’ve guessed that Louis felt that way. It’s just different to actually hear the words from Louis’ mouth. “How do you mean?”

He can’t help but dig into the meaning behind Louis’ words, a desperation, like nothing he’s ever felt before, clawing at the back of his throat. Louis feels so close, closer than he’s ever been before, but it’s still not close enough.

Louis let’s go of Liam’s hand, and before Liam has a chance to feel disappointment, Louis turns around, so they’re facing each other instead of spooning.

“You’re so good to me,” Louis replies. It’s not an answer as elaborative as he’d hoped for, but he lets it go for now.

Louis raises a hand and to Liam’s surprise, gently touches the tips of his fingers to Liam’s face, tracing the beauty mark on his cheek and the edge of his beard. There’s sirens in the distance, but Liam’s too distracted by the way the moon is shining through the blinds, casting thin stripes of cold blue light onto Louis’ face, brightening his blue eyes, to pay them any attention.

“So, so good to me,” Louis repeats quietly, almost like Liam wasn’t supposed to hear, and then he leans forward, pressing a firm but gentle kiss onto the corner of Liam’s mouth.

Liam blinks at him, shocked to be honest. That was the last thing he’d expected Louis to do. But to be fair, tonight has been a bit of a night for surprises. Liam’s not sure he could deny Louis’ kisses, even if he wanted to, so he kisses him back, pressing their lips together firmly. Louis makes a pleased little noise in the back of his throat, and that just encourages Liam like nothing else. Louis’ hand is still on his face, but Liam moves it to get the right angle to grab the back of his neck and tip his head back a bit, and Louis doesn’t seem like he minds one bit. Not according to the way he opens up beautifully, when Liam traces his lips with his tongue, trying to get him to do exactly that.

They just make out for a while, not really taking it any further. Their positions have shifted a bit, Liam’s come to lean over Louis, where he’s gone flat on his back. Their legs are still beside each other, until Louis suddenly bends his leg, angles his pelvis towards Liam and starts grinding into his hip. He’s been making these pretty noises while they’ve been making out, little sighs of satisfaction, but the sound he makes when his lower half connects with Liam’s is something that’ll be burnt into his memory forever. Despite growing up together and having even lived together when they were younger, Liam’s never heard Louis’ sex noises before now and it’s. God, it’s something else isn’t it?

It sparks something primal inside of Liam. He grabs onto Louis’ thigh, angles himself so their crotches line up. Louis makes the most beautiful moan at that, breaks the kiss to throw his head back, overwhelmed by the feeling of Liam grinding against him. They continue to grind together while making out, like teenagers in love who have just found out how incredible an orgasm can be, but not yet knowing how to get the most out of it. 

He’s so hard, the feeling of Louis against him incredible. His slim hands running all over Liam’s back, all the way from his hair to the top of his briefs, all up under his t-shirt and repeat. It feels so right, for them to be together like this. Liam doesn’t even consider any of the consequences of doing this with Louis, right now when he’s most vulnerable, until Louis breaks the kiss, says; “Liam. God, I want you to fuck me.”

And that’s. Well, that’s everything Liam’s ever dreamed of but never in a million years expected to hear from Louis’ mouth, isn’t it? He wants to. God, he wants to _so bad_ , but something about the situation doesn’t really sit well with him.

“Lou, wait, stop,” Liam says, turning his head away from Louis’ kisses, despite how much his body is telling him to keep it up. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Louis pulls away, a confused look on his face. His thin eyebrows are furrowed.

“Yes of course,” he replies like it’s the obvious answer.

“Really?” Liam can’t help but ask. “The last thing I want to do is take advantage of you when you’re in a situation like this”

“Liam.” Louis runs a hand through Liam’s hair, pushing the longer strands away from his forehead. “I promise you, you’re not. I want this.”

“No listen.” Liam takes a deep breath. It’s late, and Liam’s always felt that the night is the perfect time for being honest. Everything feels less real after the sun sets and if he’s ever going to admit his feelings to Louis, it might as well be now. When Louis is in his arms, all flushed and pretty, and when the consequences are for the morning to deal with. “I’m gonna be honest with you for a second. I’ve been dreaming about this for ages, far longer than I dare to admit and I really do want it.”

“Yeah?” Louis smiles.

“Yeah. but the last thing I want is to do it if you’re not completely into it, you know? I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“You’re not. I really do want it, and while you’re on this honesty roll, I might as well take inspiration and be honest as well,” Louis says. He’s running his hands over Liam’s shoulders, up and down, lining out the muscle. Liam can’t help but think it might be a nervosity thing.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. These feelings from me aren’t just coming out of nowhere.” Louis averts his eyes from Liam’s, looks to the ceiling. The pink flush has reappeared on his cheeks. “I kind of used to have a massive crush on you before I met Harry. I uh, I might’ve only started dating him because I was upset about you and Sophia.”

“Wait, really?” Liam asks in disbelief, surprised by his own reaction. By all the revelations tonight, this one has surprised him the most. Liam’s not really sure how he’s expected to wrap his head around it. He’d dated Sophia briefly when he was 20, but it hadn’t lead to anything serious and he’s not sure how to tell Louis that he really only went out with her in a failed attempt to get over him. So he decides not to.

“Yeah,” Louis admits, his cheeks flushing darker. He rushes to add; “I mean of course I ended up falling for Harry, I wouldn’t have stayed with him for so long if I hadn’t,” like he’s nervous Liam’s going to misinterpret what he’s saying. Liam hadn’t really considered Louis’ feelings for Harry, too distracted by the thought of _Louis liked me, Louis liked me, Louis liked me_ running in a loop in his head.

“But you know,” Louis continues, his fingers having settled at the nape of Liam’s neck, twisting around the shorter strands of hair he finds there. “You were there for me before him, always have been there for me actually, which, thank you. But um. I don’t think that ever gave me a chance to truly get over you. I think those feelings might’ve even grown a bit stronger in the last couple of months, what with everything going on with Harry and all the time I’ve spent here because of that, so uh. Yeah.”

Louis is looking anywhere but at Liam’s face, his eyes flitting between the ceiling, the wall and the window. He seems uncomfortable, and Liam can’t have that. So he gathers his courage, ignores the way his heart is absolutely hammering in his chest and how disgustingly sweaty his hands are because of nerves, and places his hand on Louis’ cheek. He’s still leaning above Louis’, aware of the way this position makes the muscles in his arm flex and turns Louis’ face towards himself completely. He breathes in and leans down to press a firm kiss onto Louis’ mouth, hoping for that to reassure him enough to at least look at Liam again.

There’s a little voice at the back of Liam’s head, telling him that he needs to acknowledge what Louis’ said and that they absolutely need to talk about all this before going any further, but the way Louis is sprawled out beneath him, his hair fanned out onto the pillow, skin still slightly flushed and sweaty from earlier, there’s no way Liam’s going to be able to have a normal in-depth conversation with Louis right now. So he presses another kiss to Louis’ lips, because he can’t just not, and redirects the conversation.

“You’re really sure you want to do this now though?” Liam asks. Louis doesn’t look disappointed that Liam didn’t start talking about his own feelings, probably satisfied with the bit Liam revealed earlier. Liam almost wants to sigh in relief. “Like don’t misunderstand me, I really, really do want to fuck you, you know. I just don’t want you to regret it, and then hate me because I took advantage of you.”

“Liam. I promise I won’t.” Louis is smiling again, a cheeky tilt to his mouth, and God, does that spur Liam on. He sits back on his knees and just takes in the sight of Louis before him. He’s in nothing but his briefs and a t-shirt, and the thought that Liam gets to see him without in just a bit, gets him hard like nothing else ever has. It’s got little to do with naked boy and everything to do with it being Louis.

“Alright, if you’re sure?” He asks just one more time to make sure, before touching.

“I am,” Louis confirms, yet again. He bucks up his hips slightly, like he’s impatient for Liam to do something. Liam’s suspicion is quickly confirmed by Louis going; “Christ, if you don’t do something soon I’m gonna find someone else who will.”

And, well. He doesn’t have to tell him twice. 

Liam leans forward again and kisses Louis, and Louis just opens up underneath him, spreads his legs further and opens his mouth to let Liam explore the inside. It doesn’t take long to get them to the point they were at before, hard and rutting against each other. Liam pulls back, ready to take it one step further but stops himself because, God. He never believed that this was a thing he’d ever get to do, and if he doesn’t take it in and memorise every single moment of it he’ll hate himself forever. Louis is looking at him with heavy-lidded eyes, his breathing heavy from all the kissing. He really looks so pretty when he’s well kissed, his lips are all red and swollen and his cheeks are flushed from arousal. Liam thinks he should always be kissed so he can look like this all the time, and if Liam’s the one who gets to do it, he doesn’t think he’ll ever have anything to complain about ever again.

Liam pushes up the bottom of his t-shirt, reveals Louis’ stomach and urging him to take it off. Louis does just that, joins Liam in sitting up, and chucks the t-shirt to the floor. He starts leaning forward, towards Liam, and they meet in the middle in a kiss.

Liam leans forward, gets Louis on his back again and starts pressing kisses along his jaw and down the line of his neck. He lets his hands roam the dip of Louis’ waist, let’s them explore the planes of his stomach and the small of his back. He teases the edge of Louis’ briefs as he sucks a mark into his neck. Louis moans, lifts his hips, as his he’s trying to urge Liam on, get him to do something more, touch him. 

Liam gives in, frees his mouth from Louis’ neck, leaving behind a wet throbbing mark, and starts pulling Louis’ briefs down his thighs, slowly revealing his hard and leaking cock.

It’s small, not unlike the rest of him, but not unnaturally so. It fits him perfectly, just the way Liam expected it to.

He wraps his hand around it, covering almost the whole shaft with his palm alone and gives it a couple of pumps. God. Liam’s not sure why it turns him on so much, how small it is compared to his own dick. He almost wants to line them up, measure them, sure he’s going to find that Louis’ is barely half the size of his, but he doesn’t. Decides he wants to do something else entirely. He looks up at Louis again and kisses him briefly.

“Are you clean?” He asks, sure Louis will get what he’s wanting to do.

Louis nods, maybe a bit too enthusiastically. “Yeah, I get checked regularly.”

For a moment he looks like he’s going to elaborate, but then ultimately decides against it and well. Liam isn’t going to push the issue further. He shuffles down between Louis’ legs, and pulls his briefs all the way off, tugs harder when they catch on Louis heel and throws them to the floor.

Up close Liam can’t help but notice how wet Louis’ cock is, drooling steadily down onto his skin, where it’s resting stiffly between his hipbones. He presses a kiss to one of his hipbones, before licking a stripe up the underside. He wraps his mouth around the head, sinks down and Louis’ reaction to that is absolutely gorgeous. He throws his head back, moans, his voice all high. The way he’s so responsive, encourages Liam like nothing else ever will, he doesn’t think.

He goes as deep as he can, lets Louis’ cock hit the back of his throat, before he pulls off again. Louis grabs onto his hair, suggestively pushes him down again, and who is Liam to deny him?

He keeps going for a bit, gets Louis harder and wetter than he already was. Louis seems to enjoy it a lot. He’s being loud, but not overly so. His hands are intertwined in Liam’s hair the whole time, either just resting there or tugging when it gets a bit much. 

When Louis starts getting tense, like he’s going to come soon, Liam decides to release Louis’ cock. He watches as it slaps wetly back onto his skin. He places his hand around the base, stroking him lazily as he looks up at Louis’ face, remembering why they’re even doing this in the first place.

“Should I get the lube?” He asks, as a way of indirectly asking Louis if he’s still up for going all the way. It’s what Liam wants, of course, the thought of it making him so hard he feels like the waistband of his briefs is gonna snap. “I could also just get you off like this, if you want.”

Louis shakes his head though. He’s biting down onto his bottom lip, and as he releases it it’s red, swollen, glistening from his own spit.

“Yeah,” he croaks, voice already shot and they haven’t even gotten to the main event yet. “Get the lube.”

He nudges Liam in the side with his toes, urging him on. Liam grins, grabs Louis’ ankle and lifts his leg to duck under it. He could’ve easily, more easily probably, moved around his leg, but he’ll take any excuse to touch Louis.

He reaches over into the top drawer of his nightstand and grabs the bottle of lube he finds there. His fingers graze a condom and he stops. He looks at Louis, questioning, and holds up the condom. “I know you said you were clean, and I am too, but do you wanna-?”

He wiggles the condom around, to showcase his point.

Louis looks at it with heavy-lidded eyes for a moment. He’s wrapped a hand around himself, slowly stroking to keep his cock hard.

“I don’t mind either way,” he replies, voice thick with arousal.

Liam looks at the little foil packet. “I mean if we’re doing it with, it’s for your sake. For you know. Uh, keeping it easy.”

“I have actually done this before, believe it or not,” Louis replies, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, uh I figured. I just meant it as it’s your decision,” Liam clarifies. Louis pokes him with his toes again, this time right in his ribs. He’s got a playful smirk resting on his lips.

“I know,” he says, smirk turning into a grin. “I was just teasing you. We can do it without, if you’d prefer it that way.”

Liam chucks the condom back into the drawer and closes it. He shuffles back in between Louis’ legs, and lifts the bottle of lube for him to see.

“How do you prefer it?”

“Wet,” Louis replies. He rearranges the pillows behind himself, adjusting his position, possibly so he’s laying more comfortably. “Loads of lube, please.”

“So polite,” Liam teases him. He squirts some lube onto his fingers, and nudges Louis’ legs further apart. Liam leans forward to kiss him, as he leans his lubed up hand explore between Louis’ legs. He find his hole easily, spreads the lubrication around it for a moment, getting him used to the feeling of a fingers there, before he pushes in. Louis hums a little pleased noise of satisfaction, against his mouth.

It doesn’t take him long to work Louis up to two fingers, and before he really knows it, he’s three fingers deep, properly fingerfucking Louis. It’s a mesmerising sight is what it is. The way Louis is flushed and writhing, just completely surrendering to whatever Liam’s willing to give him. Liam never, in a million years, thought he’d ever get to witness this. Of course he’s thought about it before; at night usually, when he’s felt shitty and sad and heartbroken about Louis being happy with someone else, when he’s wondered what it would be like to have Louis be his. He’s felt very guilty about it in the past, thinking about his best friend that way. Especially considering that said friend had been in a relationship at the time. But as he twists his fingers just so, making Louis gasp with it, he feels like it’s going to be alright, doubt Louis will blame him for it at all. The way Louis is moaning, breathy little noises in tact with the thrusting of Liam’s fingers, doesn’t do his dreams any justice though. Liam almost considers just finishing him off like this, sure it’d be almost as satisfying as getting to fuck him would be. 

He doesn’t though. He pulls his fingers out when he feels that Louis is ready to take him. He gets up properly to take off his briefs, freeing his cock. He grabs onto it, gives it a good couple of strokes, finally getting the friction he’s been craving for what feels like hours now. He grabs the lube, loads of it, gets himself wet and crawls back in between Louis’ legs.

“How do you wanna do it? On your back, just like this or?” Liam asks, stroking his hand up and down Louis’ thigh. It’s just because his leg is right there, all soft and smooth skin on display, and he’s never been allowed to touch him like this before, so he’s no way he’s not going to grab every possible opportunity to, now that he can.

Louis nods, licking his dry lips to get them wet again. His eyes are glassy. “Just like this is fine. I want to look at you.”

Liam’s heart flutters in his chest at that. He knows that he isn’t just another fuck for Louis, not after what he revealed earlier, but the implications that this might mean more to Louis than Liam had ever thought it would is almost too much.

“Alright,” Liam says as he gets into position and lines himself up, Louis’ arms coming around his back. He presses their lips together, kisses Louis with all he’s got and when he pushes in it kind of feels monumental; there’s no turning back now. No matter what happens from now on, they’re never going to be able to go back to how they were before. That’s not something he’s going to focus on at the moment though, not when Louis is under him, his mouth slack against Liam’s own. Open on a silent moan as Liam bottoms out. He has to concentrate hard on staying still while Louis adjusts.

“You good?” He asks, his voice strained, to direct his focus from the tight heat currently surrounding him.

“Yeah,” Louis breathes. He gasps as he shifts his hips slightly, adjusting to the size of Liam’s cock. “Feels like I’m being split in half.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, fuck-“ he cuts off, grips Liam’s hair and moans, when Liam moves, even though it’s just the tiniest bit. “I love it.”

After a couple of minutes, Liam starts to thrust. Steady, drawn out movements, that has Louis whining each time he bottoms out. He’s still gripping onto Liam’s hair with one hand, while the other is grabbing onto his back, clutching at the skin. Liam knows he’s probably going to have some marks in the morning.

Liam gets a good rhythm going, fucking Louis deep and slow. 

Louis, it turns out, isn’t much for speaking while being fucked. Liam is kind of surprised by that fact, having expected him to be just as mouthy in bed as he is out of it. He isn’t though, not at all. The only noise coming out of his mouth is a steady stream of little _uh, uh, uh_ ’s in tact with Liam’s thrusting.

Liam decides to change his angle a bit, in an attempt to really get Louis going, desperate to make this whole experience an unforgettable one for Louis. After a couple of thrusts with the new angle he hits Louis’ prostrate. Louis grips onto Liam’s back muscles with everything he’s got, marking up the skin with his short nails, and throws his head back and moans. Liam decides to keep the angle, pressing his face into Louis’ neck and speeding up his thrusts but keeping them as deep as before, until Louis is nothing but a sweaty, blubbering mess.

Liam presses a kiss onto Louis’ throat and grabs his cock to wank him off in rhythm with his own thrusts. It doesn’t take long before Louis comes with a gasp, overwhelmed by the friction of getting fucked and Liam’s hand on his cock. Liam speeds up his thrusts, chasing his own orgasm. Louis starts pressing tiny supporting kisses onto Liam’s cheeks, his jaw, anywhere he can reach really, as soon as he come to himself again. Before Liam knows it, he’s coming. The intensity taking him by surprise, and he bites down onto Louis’ neck, to keep from moaning too loudly. Louis’ got his hand back in Liam’s hair, stroking him through it.

It takes a moment for him gain back his thought process. Louis is still petting his hair, supporting him when he does. Liam leans forward to kiss him deeply, trying to convert all his feelings into it and hoping, desperately, that Louis picks up on it. 

They continue to make out for a bit, before Liam pulls back. Louis is smiling up at him and it makes Liam’s insides feel like jelly. He feels like the absolute luckiest man in the world, to have Louis naked in his bed right now.

“Y’alright?” He asks, still slightly breathless.

Louis nods instead of answering. He looks happy, his cheeks are all flushed and a satisfied look on his face. Liam presses a kiss to his cheek, then his mouth, kisses him shortly but deeply, before he gets up to go get a flannel, a towel or something, to clean Louis up with. 

On his way to the bathroom, all naked and sweaty, he can’t help but think, hope really, that this might be the start of something truly great. He really hopes that all this means the same to Louis as it does to him.

~*~

Liam’s on his side, cuddled into his pillow, watching Louis watch the ceiling. His eyes are getting heavy, threatening to pull him under and make him join the far away world of the sleeping. He feels so snug and happy, under the cosiness of the duvet, with Louis by his side. He’s almost about to give in to sleep when Louis starts speaking.

“You know, you’re the first I’ve ever slept with besides Harry,” Louis says. Liam looks at him. He’s still looking at the ceiling, the duvet pulled up under his arms. He’s carefully still, too still, like he’s afraid of Liam’s reaction of what he’d just revealed.

“Oh really?” Liam replies, careful not to make a bigger deal out of it than it is. Because it’s not a big deal. He’d wondered about it before, of course, whether Louis’d had sex with others before. It was never really something they talked about, when they were younger. “I didn’t know that.”

“Mhm.” Louis hums. He finally turns his face to look at Liam. His hair is all mussed up and there’s a slight sheen of sweat still lingering on his skin, making him glow in the lights from the streetlights and the moon. “I just thought you should know.”

“I appreciate it,” Liam replies. It’s not a lie. Every bit of honesty he can get from Louis he’ll take.

There’s a moment of silence, where Liam contemplates finally falling asleep. His eyes are closed, but then Louis speaks again.

“It feels really weird having broken up with Harry.”  
Liam looks at him again. He doesn’t elaborate for a couple of seconds, before he finally admits; “I don’t know who I am supposed to be without him.”

Liam’s does his very best to school his features, and not show how disappointed he is that their conversation has returned to Harry, yet again. He knows they just broke up and that it’s definitely got to take up a lot of space in Louis’ mind, but after everything that’s just happened between them he figured they’d leave the topic, just until the morning.

“You’re supposed to be exactly who you want to be,” Liam replies for lack of anything better. He knows it’s not going to help Louis a single bit, but at least it’s true.

Louis hums in reply. “I know. I’ve just been his boyfriend for so long that I don’t know how not to be that anymore.”

Louis has gone back to looking at the ceiling. Liam wonders if he’s looking at something specific, a stain maybe. He’s too sleepy to turn his head to check though.

“Do you think you’ll go back to him?” He asks instead. He’s not sure he wants to know the answer, not sure how he’d be able to deal with it if it was ‘yes’.

“No,” he replies bluntly. He turns his face towards Liam again. His eyes are shiny, but he doesn’t sound like he’s about to cry. Still, Liam shuffles closer, to offer his comfort. He doesn’t touch him though, let’s Louis make that decision. Louis does shuffle closer himself, grabs Liam’s hand that’s laying on the mattress between them and intertwines their finger. “I don’t think I’ve been in love with him for a while.”

“Yeah, you mentioned that earlier,” Liam reminds him.

Louis nods. “I know.”

They’ve been awake for so long, that the city is slowly, steadily waking up around them. It stopped raining a while ago, but Liam can still hear how wet the roads are from the noise of tired car tires driving through the puddles. He can’t help but feel grateful that it’s Sunday, that he doesn’t have to get up in a couple of hours to go to work and pretend like his life is just the way it was when he left work the last time. That he doesn’t have to put on a brave face and forget for a few hours that his whole life has been turned upside down. 

Louis is one of the most important people in his life, and he hates the uncertainty of not knowing whether they’ve ruined their friendship forever, or if they’ve changed it for the better.

Louis looks at him slowly, sleepily, and raises a hand to stroke along Liam’s cheek. He looks at Liam for a moment, almost like he’s contemplating something, before reaching up and pressing a kiss against Liam’s lips.

“Thank you so much for tonight Liam,” he says.

Liam nods in agreement, not trusting his voice to hold steady so he doesn’t say anything. Louis squeezes his hand and sends him a gentle smile, like he knows what Liam’s thinking.

They fall asleep like that, facing each other with their fingers intertwined.

~*~

When Liam wakes up in the morning, he’s all alone in bed. 

It takes a moment to remember the events of the night before, and when he does, he reaches out, feels the cold sheets on the other side of the bed and instantly feels like he’s had a bucket of icy water dumped on his head. He _knew_ having sex with Louis was a bad idea, knew he would end up regretting it.

He gets out of bed to pull on a pair of joggers and a t-shirt. There’s a possibility Louis is still here, he thinks. Maybe he just got hungry or decided to take a shower. 

The fact that his clothes aren’t on the floor any longer isn’t a great sign.

There are so many thoughts running through his head as he pulls on his clothes. If Louis really regrets it, there’s no way he doesn’t hate Liam now for going through with it. As incredible as it all was, Liam can’t help but wish that he’d pretended to be asleep when Louis came to him last night. Of course, he couldn’t have predicted what would happen, but if only he had this wouldn’t have happened. He’s almost scared to leave his bedroom, in case Louis isn’t anywhere else in the flat. The thought of losing Louis is too much to bear. He would much rather have Louis as his friend and nothing more, than not have him in his life at all.

He decides he can’t stay in the bedroom forever, hoping Louis will magically appear. He opens the door and walks out. It all feels like an eternity of dread and regret cascading down on top of him, weighing him down, until he reaches the living room and sees Louis on the sofa, cuddled up under a blanket with a bowl of cereal.

“Hi,” Louis greets him, a shy but happy smile on his face.

Liam feels so relieved he could cry, seeing that.

“Morning,” he replies, surprised at the steadiness of his voice. It’s fine, Louis doesn’t need to know about the mental breakdown he just almost had. “How long have you been up?”

“About half an hour or so. I got hungry.” Louis lifts the bowl of cereal as if to show that he’s speaking the truth. It’s cereal bought just for when Louis is over. He hates the stuff himself, much more of an eggs and toast kinda guy. “I wanted to wake you up, but you looked so peaceful and considering the time we fell asleep, I decided to let you sleep.”

He blushes a bit at the implications of what happened the night before.

Liam shuffles awkwardly where he’s still stood in the doorway from the hall to the living room. He clears his throat. “Speaking of last night, I uh-. How are your feelings about everything today?”

“Are you asking me if I regret it?” Louis asks bluntly, a cheeky hint to his smile. The top of his cheekbones are still dusted pink though.

Liam scratches the back of his neck. It’s not itchy, but the position makes his bicep pop and well. It doesn’t hurt to reminds Louis of what he could have.

“Basically yeah.”

“I don’t regret it no,” Louis replies. “I’m quite happy it happened if I’m being completely honest.”

“Oh. Well I’m glad to hear that.” Liam feels his own cheeks flush. He’s embarrassed that he’s blushing over Louis, like a teenager who’s talking to his crush, and not like a 20-something man, who’s been in several relationships, before talking to a man he just had sex with.

“Good,” Louis replies.

“Yeah, good,” Liam repeats.

Louis rolls his eyes and puts his, now almost empty, bowl of soggy cereal onto the coffee table. Liam refrains from pointing out how that’s going to leave a ring on the surface.

“Come here you, instead of just standing there.” Louis lifts the blanket on his right side, urging Liam to join him.

Liam feels his mouth involuntarily stretch into a smile, and he shuffles over to the sofa and sits down next to Louis. Louis stretches the blanket over Liam, cocooning them in. He turns towards Liam, goes in for a kiss but Liam stops him.

“Uh, I haven’t brushed my teeth yet,” he clarifies, when Louis raises a questioning eyebrow.

“Mate, I literally kissed you after you sucked my dick last night. I don’t care about your morning breath.”

Liam snorts, says; “Fair point.” And lets Louis press their lips together. He takes Liam’s hand in his, intertwines their fingers and Liam’s pretty sure that whatever lies in the future for them, it’s going to be the best thing either of them have experienced yet.


End file.
